Battle

It seems I find myself in battle. For those that know me well, rather, know me at all, I am likely the most cynical person you have ever met. I consider it my greatest vice. It builds unscalable walls inside of my most important relationships and has often prevented relationships from ever actually taking root. I often claim that it is my nature. Unavoidable. A loss of said cynicism would be a loss of my identity itself. And a large part of this is true. I would drown in silence at a dinner table with friends or family if I couldn't enjoy sharing a wittingly sharp jab at someone else's expense, usually exposing an impossibly unattainable goal or a person's sheer naivity.
I'm a thief. I steal people's dreams out from underneath them. And in the end, I'm undermining God's speaking into people's lives. The Holy Spirit is whispering into hearts goals that are impossibly unattainable and seemingly naive. But how have I allowed my deep rooted cynicism (that is not of God, but of my sinful nature) to place fear into these people's lives? I love these people but for some time now, I have loved my cynicism more. Forgive me if I have dashed dreams, been insulting, or brashly opposed a great dream you have had. Forgive me for harsh comments and rude words.
I see now what great affect these can have, as I have so engrained this cynicism in my identity that I myself feel defeated in my own dreaming. God, please remove this from me. Only then can I know the fullness of your abilities; only then will I begin to see miracles; only then will I know that we shall all "do greater things than these".